Sunday, May 13, 2007


They say the only time your child is really all yours is when they are in the womb. At the time of birth, they begin their own life journey and you are there as a guide. For a few years you are guiding all the time and their journey is mapped out by you. It doesn't take long to realize that you can set the course but the child will take their own path that has nothing to do with where you thought she was going.

18 years go by in a flash. You don't even realize that Mommy and Me at Gymboree has ended. The wonderful spirituality of breastfeeding is over. That first lost tooth led to others and then there were no more. Those endless pageants and recitals just ended. You clutched your heart hoping he wouldn't miss the fly ball, and then he began catching them all and then there was no more little league. The piano lessons faded into science projects and they faded into SAT practice. The weird music and clothes and text messaging that was "oh so secret" just seemed to fade away and're alone with the memories. Our little ones are launched and all we can do is hope all of the stories, bedtime tuck-ins, advise, school project help and prayers will be enough to sustain that sweet child into adulthood.

"The Mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother's side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother and to become fully independent."
- Erich Fromm

At the end of the day, all we can do is give our best love to our children as they grow and enjoy the love that returns to us on Mothers Day. Happy Mothers Day to all of you!


Fat Doctor said...

Very nicely written, and so true!

Anonymous said...

Great post.
Rich recommended you.
Working on the other side of motherhood i think its beneficial for me to read the good aspects of the job.

Judy S said...

Thanks for this one, Toni. It a bit after Mother's Day, but I was just sitting home alone after my green-haired teenager went back to dad's and my 19-year-old went off off with his friends, and I realized that the journey is just about over...Your piece brought tears to my eyes.

Funny, I always dreamed of this day when I would be "free" but now it's here and I'm crying. Go figure.

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